Here she is...
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Our newest niece!
Dave's sister Laura and her husband Jason are in the process of adopting a sweet little "China doll." Lucy Fei will turn one on June 16th. We are praying that God's hand will continue to guide the adoption process and that Lucy will be safe until her parents can bring her home. We are so excited for the Penner family as they embark on this amazing journey! God's plan and timing are always perfect!
Here she is...
Here she is...
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Three Years
It has been three years since I said goodbye to my twins Christopher and Connor. In some ways the loss seems like a lifetime ago. I have grown and changed in so many ways since June 1st, 2008. Some days the painful scar feels very fresh. Today, as I visited the cemetery I felt as though we just had the funeral. Many emotions came rushing back. However, in the midst of my sorrow I felt peace. My sons are in paradise and I will see them again, once God's work for me is finished. I choose to live my life now with a heavenly perspective. Even if I live to be 100 years old, June 1st will always be a bittersweet day for me. My small, precious boys have impacted my life forever. I am a better wife and mother because they lived. I look forward to our reunion. I am sure Christopher (our energetic son, who loved to dance and move to music) will show me the angel choir. Connor (our laid back son, who sucked his thumb and held his ear just like his Uncle Remi) will be sitting at Jesus' feet. I will tell them how their short lives opened our hearts to adopt and that they have a brother named Liam. It will be a great celebration!
Happy birthday my dear, sweet boys. I love you, miss you, and am so thankful to have been your mommy.
Happy birthday my dear, sweet boys. I love you, miss you, and am so thankful to have been your mommy.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
A Trip to the Zoo
We had the perfect day.
We spent the morning at the zoo, had a picnic lunch, and then went home and took naps.
Liam was fascinated by the hyenas. They were very active.
Liam looking at the honey badger.
Liam posing with the mommy & baby giraffe.
Liam made this face all day. He was interested in everything.
Liam was telling us all about the fish.
Then, Liam started talking to the fish.
Liam looks like such a big boy! He and daddy wanted to see the alligator.
Liam made a new friend.
Liam was very excited to be the conductor of Little Poof.
Liam was more interested looking at the albino peacock than posing for the camera.
Liam wasn't too sure about the goats at first.
Liam was very gentle with the goats.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Firsts
Easter is one of my favorite holidays. It is the most important holiday that we as Christians celebrate. For me, Easter brings many memories, because I have experienced several "firsts" at Easter.
In 2008 I experienced my first Easter as a mom. I was newly pregnant with my twins that Easter. I can remember sitting in the balcony with the choir, extremely early in the morning, feeling miserable. I could not stand the taste or smell of eggs when I was pregnant and the smell of the breakfast they were making in the fellowship hall was wafting up into the balcony. It took all my strength (and several tums) to get me through all three church services. It did not matter because I was delighted to finally be pregnant and I felt like I was rejoicing with all the angels that Easter Sunday. I thanked God that He had been gracious to me and had granted me my heart's desire. Since no one knew except our immediate family, I had a quiet peace within my soul.
In 2009 I experienced my first Easter in mourning. It was extremely hard for me to celebrate my favorite holiday with part of my heart missing. Good Friday seemed so much more meaningful to me. I felt like I was a kindred spirit with Mary. We both knew what it was like to watch our son die. My pain was still so fresh and my wounds were exposed for everyone to see. Even in the midst of my sorrow and pain, I had hope. I learned so much about myself and my faith that year. The devil tried to strip away everything from me and he almost succeeded, but he never touched my hope. In the midst of my sadness I envisioned my twins sitting on the lap of Jesus, singing Alleluia with the angel choir. During church that Sunday I felt my sons worshipping with me and I looked forward to the day that I could hold them again.
In 2010 I experienced my first Easter in waiting. We had been on the adoption list for nine months and I was discouraged. I visited the cemetery after church and poured my heart and soul to the Lord. I told Him that if life didn't get any better than this, I was done. I felt my fighting spirit was finished. I was emotionally tired. I missed my sons, I missed being a mom, and I missed having joy. Less than a week later we got the phone call that changed our lives. Liam had arrived and he was our son! Now, when I think of the timing of everything, I get goose bumps. I feel like it wasn't until I surrendered my plan, my timing, and my will that God granted me my true heart's desire (I wasn't even sure what that was, but God knew). His plan, and timing, and will are perfect. It wasn't until I had been broken that I realized that no baby could fix me. Being a mom was not what gave me worth. I am God's precious daughter and He loves me regardless of my circumstance. He cries when I am in pain, He rejoices when I laugh, and He carries me when my burden is too great. In every season of my life He has provided. And believe me, I have been through many seasons.
This Easter is my first as Liam's mommy. I am so thankful that God has given me a chance to be a mom again, especially to this amazing boy! The word that best describes this Easter is JOY! This Easter I will still miss my oldest two sons, and I will still long for the day when we can celebrate together. I want them to meet their brother. However, I will also rejoice knowing that God has secured their future. What better place for them to be on Easter? I will also rejoice over the happiness God has granted us through Liam. This is a great first!
In 2008 I experienced my first Easter as a mom. I was newly pregnant with my twins that Easter. I can remember sitting in the balcony with the choir, extremely early in the morning, feeling miserable. I could not stand the taste or smell of eggs when I was pregnant and the smell of the breakfast they were making in the fellowship hall was wafting up into the balcony. It took all my strength (and several tums) to get me through all three church services. It did not matter because I was delighted to finally be pregnant and I felt like I was rejoicing with all the angels that Easter Sunday. I thanked God that He had been gracious to me and had granted me my heart's desire. Since no one knew except our immediate family, I had a quiet peace within my soul.
In 2009 I experienced my first Easter in mourning. It was extremely hard for me to celebrate my favorite holiday with part of my heart missing. Good Friday seemed so much more meaningful to me. I felt like I was a kindred spirit with Mary. We both knew what it was like to watch our son die. My pain was still so fresh and my wounds were exposed for everyone to see. Even in the midst of my sorrow and pain, I had hope. I learned so much about myself and my faith that year. The devil tried to strip away everything from me and he almost succeeded, but he never touched my hope. In the midst of my sadness I envisioned my twins sitting on the lap of Jesus, singing Alleluia with the angel choir. During church that Sunday I felt my sons worshipping with me and I looked forward to the day that I could hold them again.
In 2010 I experienced my first Easter in waiting. We had been on the adoption list for nine months and I was discouraged. I visited the cemetery after church and poured my heart and soul to the Lord. I told Him that if life didn't get any better than this, I was done. I felt my fighting spirit was finished. I was emotionally tired. I missed my sons, I missed being a mom, and I missed having joy. Less than a week later we got the phone call that changed our lives. Liam had arrived and he was our son! Now, when I think of the timing of everything, I get goose bumps. I feel like it wasn't until I surrendered my plan, my timing, and my will that God granted me my true heart's desire (I wasn't even sure what that was, but God knew). His plan, and timing, and will are perfect. It wasn't until I had been broken that I realized that no baby could fix me. Being a mom was not what gave me worth. I am God's precious daughter and He loves me regardless of my circumstance. He cries when I am in pain, He rejoices when I laugh, and He carries me when my burden is too great. In every season of my life He has provided. And believe me, I have been through many seasons.
This Easter is my first as Liam's mommy. I am so thankful that God has given me a chance to be a mom again, especially to this amazing boy! The word that best describes this Easter is JOY! This Easter I will still miss my oldest two sons, and I will still long for the day when we can celebrate together. I want them to meet their brother. However, I will also rejoice knowing that God has secured their future. What better place for them to be on Easter? I will also rejoice over the happiness God has granted us through Liam. This is a great first!
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