Pumpkin Patch

Today we took a trip to the pumpkin patch.  Liam loved looking at all the different colors of pumpkins and gourds.  He also loved feeling all their textures.  We found a small pumpkin that was perfect for him.  Once he had it he didn't want to let it go.  It was so fun to watch him observe everything and take it all in.  He focuses so hard on things.  It makes me wonder what he is thinking.  He also really loved feeling the grass between his toes.  I will turn his pumpkin into baby food and roast the seeds for myself.  Eating his pumpkin will probably be his favorite part - he loves pumpkin.  It was a beautiful autumn day and a memory I will cherish.

Liam's Fifth Month

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Kids Against Hunger

This weekend Dave organized an event called Kids Against Hunger.  He raised enough money and got enough volunteers to package about 43,000 meals.  Most of the meals will stay in the community and will be distributed through local food banks.  Dave worked so hard to make this event a success.  He demonstrated a true servant's heart.  I am so proud of him!

Here is Dave mixing up a sample of the food.  This way the volunteers could taste the meal they were packaging.

Here is a bird's eye view of the volunteers in progress.  There were two shifts and a total of about 100 volunteers.

Our nieces and nephew helped out.  I am glad they are learning about service at a young age.

Liam's Birthmarks

Liam has two little birthmarks on his head.  When he first arrived, we thought they may have been bruises.  When they didn't go away, we realized that they must be birthmarks.  Many people have commented on what they look like.  At first we thought they looked like Mickey Mouse heads, which was appropriate since we heard of Liam's birth while at Disney World.  Then, they began to look like two little hearts, especially the one on the left.  Yesterday, I was talking to my friend about these marks and I was explaining to her that I thought they looked like hearts.  She agreed and said they were little kisses from Christopher and Connor.  I like the thought of that.  I like to think of Christopher and Connor giving Liam little blessings.  It is a sweet reminder to me of my treasures, both here on earth and in heaven.  Dave and I often talk about how wonderful it will be when all our boys get to play together.  What a great family reunion we have in store for us!

My Weight Loss Journey

I have never considered myself the athletic type.  I had always been involved in athletic activities, such as dance and cheerleading.  However, I always had high standards of what an athlete should be and I certainly did not live up to those standards.  I also never really had success with dieting.  I went through a phase in junior high where I ate nothing but rice cakes and did ballet every waking moment.  Then, came puberty and my body blossomed and I embraced my new figure.  I slowly gained weight over the years.  It was so gradual that I hardly noticed it happening.  I gained some weight with the twins, but gained even more weight during the four fertility treatments we tried after the twins.  Once we decided to stop trying to get pregnant and apply for adoption, I knew I needed to make a change.  I was carrying around extra emotional weight along with the extra pounds.  I began working out 5-6 days a week.  I also started my own version of Weight Watchers.  I took what I learned from other people who had done the program and adapted it to fit my lifestyle.  My transformation was like another job for me.  I really poured everything I could into it.  I think it really helped me while I waited for Liam.  There was so much I didn't have control of in my life that it was good to have control over something.   It was good to feel successful.  I also said goodbye to my emotional weight that was weighing me down.  In fact, I often prayed and cried while I worked out - I was turning my pain over to God and letting Him turn me into the person He wanted me to be.  I can only imagine what people thought of me at the gym.  The Devil tried to derail me so many times by telling me all the lies he had told me over the last two years, but I kept with it.  Over the course of 10 months I lost 35 pounds.  At some point I would like to lose 10-20 more pounds.  That is a little more of a challenge now, since most days I am lucky to get a shower in let alone a workout.  However, I am maintaining my weight, which is good.  I hope this post does not sound like I am bragging.  That is not my intent.  I have never thought of myself as a vain person - my perfectionism will never allow me to get to that point.  I just want to prove that it is possible, and with God's help I am able to start this new chapter in my life as a much healthier person physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Before

me at my heaviest (May 2009)

You can just see the pain in my eyes - my friends often commented that the sparkle was gone from my eyes - it took time, and God's grace to get that back.

After 

me at my skinniest (so far)

Liam's Fourth Month

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The Man of My Dreams

I am very thankful to be married to my best friend and soul mate.  We have been through a great deal together, both good and bad.  I can not imagine taking this journey with anyone else.  Dave is the only man that finds me funny.  We have a sense of humor that only we understand.  And although we disagree at times, he has always respected my opinion and individuality.  He puts up with my need to be perfect and have everything under control.  There are many attributes that I love about Dave.  His strongest strength is his faith.  He always seems to have unwavering hope.  The morning after we lost the twins it took me a while to realize where I was and what had just happened.  I was so 'drugged up' it took me a while to adjust, but when I did finally remember what had happened, I was overcome with sadness and I began to weep uncontrollably.  Dave woke up to my weeping, climbed in the hospital bed with me, and just held me.  After what seemed like hours of us just crying and holding each other he started to sing the Common Doxology - "Praise God from whom all blessings flow.  Praise Him all creatures here below.  Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts.  Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.  Amen."  I am still amazed that Dave could think to praise God in the midst of that sorrow.  We have had to be strong for each other on many occasions.  We have been able to do that because Christ has been the glue in our marriage.  He was holding us in that hospital bed.  I am very thankful that Dave is a strong Christian leader in our home (a trait he learned from his parents).  In addition to having strong faith he is also very loyal to his friends and tries to find the best in everyone.  People often describe Dave as - the nicest guy you'll ever meet.  It's true - he is a genuinely nice guy.  Dave's parents also instilled in him the importance of serving others.  At times I get jealous of the time Dave spends at church or on various committees.  But, then I have to remind myself that God gave Dave great talents and, "to whom much is given, much is expected."  Dave is also very modest.  In fact when he reads this he will most likely blush and say, "Tiff, why did you write that?"  Well, I'm writing it because I love him, I have great admiration for him, and I think others should see what I see.  Dave makes me want to be the best version of myself that I can be.  He encourages me to have unwavering faith, to see people through Christ's eyes, and to live for others.  In this season of our lives he is working so hard so that I can stay home with Liam.  He believes in the importance of me being a stay-at-home mom.  I am so thankful that he is giving us this gift.  Liam and I are very blessed!  There will be days when he disappoints me (after all he is only human).  There will be days when we won't see eye to eye.  On those days we will have to rely strongly on God's grace.  However, what a privilege to let God's love flow through us when we may not have enough love of our own. 
My prayer is that someday when we are old, gray, and enjoying our grandchildren, we can look back and see God's master design.  For now, I just thank God that he has allowed me to travel this journey with my best friend, soul mate, and hero.