Small Moments, Big Accomplishments

Since getting Lilly last Monday, she has been a Mama's girl.  She bonded with me first.  I've actually been asked by Chinese women how long I've had Lilly.  When I tell them one week, they are amazed at how well she is doing.  I don't know how else to explain it, other than that God is mending her little heart.  She has not had the same attachment to Dave.  In fact, she has been so attached to me that I often can't even go to the bathroom or take a shower without her crying.  It has been a bit exhausting.  It's hard to know when to give her attention and reassure her that I will meet all her needs, and when she is just manipulating me.  I have been sitting closer to Dave and giving him hugs and kisses in front of Lilly in an effort to show her that he is a safe person.  Dave has been good about getting down on her level and playing with her.  He just keeps loving her through it all.  Well, today I think we turned a corner.  She actually let Dave hold her for more than two seconds and didn't scream.  She also let Dave hold her hands and walk her down the hallway.  This has been impossible up until today.  The most exciting part is that she kissed Dave on the lips several times today!!!  Every time she did it we praised her for it, which made her giggle.  Dave and I have always been 'teamwork parents.'  We both take an active role with Liam and I am excited to think that we will be able to do the same with Lilly soon.  Attachment takes time and lots of patience.  It is also a challenge sometimes to know when to discipline and when to let things slide.  Overall, I am so proud of how Lilly is doing.  I was expecting the worst, hoping for the best, and praying for a miracle.  I think God answered my prayer in a little, but important way today.  I'm thankful for so many small moments today!

Dave holding Lilly - Lilly is not crying!

Daddy and Lilly walking back to the room

Skyping with the family - so good to hear Liam's little voice.

Our hotel has a play room, which has been so great for Lilly.  She is getting sick of the toys that we packed.

Lilly loves to play with balls.  Maybe she'll be a basketball player.

(Notice she is wearing a hair clip.  Her hair is just long enough to clip one on, but it didn't stay on very long).

so beautiful!

Big brother Liam is going to have to chase off the boys.

It cracks us up that Lilly knows how to work the remote.  Apparently, she watched TV every night before bed at the orphanage.

Lilly loves to draw.  We're anxious to let her use crayons and make masterpieces at home.

Five Years

Today is a bittersweet day for us.  Five years ago today our sons Christopher and Connor entered the world early and started their lives in Heaven.  Everyday we think of them and on days like today we miss the opportunity to be their parents.  However, we also rejoice that they are with Jesus and have never had to suffer in this earthly life.  In some ways it's hard to believe it has been five years.  The memory is still so fresh in our minds.  It also seems like that was a lifetime ago.  Our lives have changed so much since then.  God has granted us grace in the midst of our sorrow.  Today, we look at the beautiful daughter he has given us and think of our wonderful son, and are so thankful he turned our sadness into joy.  We are humbled that God has chosen us to be adoptive parents and has prepared our hearts to be the type of parents Liam and Lilly need.  Usually, I visit the cemetery on their birthday and sing happy birthday.  We will sing to them from China this year.

"You turned my wailing into dancing..that my heart may sing and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever." Psalm 30:12

 

Today we visited the medical clinic.  It was so amazing to see so many adoptive families.  God makes families in all different ways.  It was so touching to see all these amazing parents, who have sacrificed, and waited, who are now holding their children.  So many had medical concerns, but you could just tell that to these parents, their children are perfect and beautiful.  God bless these adoptive families.  I got choked up while we waited for Lilly's appointment.  It's an emotional day anyway, but as I looked around, I thought, "This room is full of children who will never be abandoned again. Praise God!"  As I was trying to keep my composure, Dave said, "If we had the money, I would do this again in a heart beat!  It's really hard to stop at one."  That's why I love him!!!  I said, "If God calls us, he will equip us, but let's just get through this trip first."

Lilly hated being taken out of my arms.

The nurse told us what we already knew.  She is developmentally behind where she should be, but she is healthy considering the obstacles she has had to overcome.  My daughter is a fighter and she will work as hard as she can to make up those milestones.  She already has gained so much strength just this week.  Whether or not she is a star athlete or dancer, or top in her class, she will move mountains, because God has saved her life for a purpose!

On a lighter note... this is pretty cool.  It's a wine vending machine.

Guangzhou - Final Week!

Today we traveled from Nanjing to Guangzhou.  We are excited to be in the final phase of Lilly's adoption.  We have had such a great trip so far.  Everything is going far better than we had anticipated, but we are ready to see Liam.  Through this whole trip we have found ourselves saying, "If Liam were here he would say... or he would do..."  We are anxious to see how Liam and Lilly react to each other and we are just ready to begin life as a whole family.  Tomorrow, we have Lilly's medical check and will fill out the rest of our paperwork.  Monday we have our interview at the Consulate.  Wednesday we will take a van to Hong Kong and then fly home from there (via Chicago) on Thursday.

Our little diva in the van on the way to the airport.

boarding the plane

Lilly did so well on her first flight!

Our room in Guangzhou

Life with Lilly

Our little Lilly is a fast learner.  She was not very good at walking when we first met her.  However, she is determined to learn how.  She will only hold one of my hands and wants to practice all the time.  She is getting better every day.  Today, I got her to take 3-4 steps without holding on.  She is so proud when she does it without falling down.

Lilly's molars are coming in.  We thought her drooling was due to her cleft palate (which may be part of it).  However, we have seen one gum go from swollen and red this week to having a molar pop through.  She is putting everything in her mouth.

Lilly is a Momma's girl.  She wants to be with me at all times.  She will play with Dave and eat food from him if I am close by.  We are going to stick with it and know she will warm up to him in time.   We are just thankful she has attached so well to one of us.

She had a liquid diet at the orphanage, but now she only wants solid foods.  She does not want formula.  She would much rather have fruits, vegetables, and whatever we eat.  She can now hold her own bottle when she drinks her water and milk.  She is also spilling less liquid on herself.  Dave and I are just amazed how far she has come in less than a week.  She really wants to learn how to use silverware, but we may start that at home with smaller utensils.  

Lilly's personality is starting to show.  She is becoming more outgoing.  She is trying to talk more.  She can't say a lot of distinguishable sounds, but she sure is trying.  She can say Mama, and Dad is 'Ah!'  She is also funny.  She scrunches up her nose, throws her head back, and laughs.

Everyone says Lilly is tall for her age.  We just laugh, because to us she is such a little peanut.  She is long and slender.  Her face looks thinner than it did in the pictures we received.  She is tiny with small features.  Of course, we are used to our giant, Liam.

She is such a good sleeper.  She sleeps through the night and does well at nap-time.  Now, I just have to put her in her crib and sit next to it for about 2 minutes and Lilly falls right to sleep.  She no longer rocks herself, which makes me so happy!

Overall, our little lady is doing well!!!  We know that the Holy Spirit has been at work in all of us and has prepared us to be together.  I'm sure we will have some work ahead of us and some obstacles to overcome, but we know your prayers are working.  Thank you to all you prayer warriors out there!

Here are some random pictures...

Lilly's favorite thing is her photo album, which we sent to her in her care package.  She carries with with her everywhere.  She gets so excited when she gets to Liam's picture.

Everyday we visited the lounge while they cleaned our room.  They always cleaned our floor during nap-time, but would skip our room and come back to us after Lilly woke up.

such a sound sleeper

Mmmm, breakfast time!

Lilly sucks on her two middle fingers.

Nanjing Massacre Memorial

Today was a rainy day in Nanjing, which was appropriate for visiting the Nanjing Massacre Memorial. It was an emotional and somber visit.  300,000 lives, mainly civilians, were lost during this horrific period in history.  This memorial and museum do a great job of sharing the story and honoring those who were killed.  We knew a little bit about this event through the movie "Flowers of War," but seeing the display in person really left an impact on us.

"Frigidity and horror have frozen this crying baby

poor thing, not knowing mum has been killed

blood, milk, and tears have frozen, never melting"

"My dear mother in her eighties.  Hurry up!  Run away from the bloody hands!"

"A thirteen year old carrying her grandmother.
Flee-flee-flee"

"The devils are coming..."

"The devil has sent the bombers...
the poor orphans, frightened by the vicious laughs of the brutal devils, terrified by the corpses piling up in the alley, have lapsed into numbness."

"My dear wife!  The devil raped you, killed you... I'm right after you."

"December 13, 1937
Began the inhuman massacre.  Bare handed civilians, flee, the only hope to survive."

"They rob and rape.  They set fire and bury people alive... they even killed my 3 month old little grandson"

"Ah close your eyes, rest in peace.  You innocent child.  You poor boy."

Mass grave sight - many layers of bones were found at this spot.  The Japanese murdered the Chinese here and buried them here.

The Offer Place

Peace Sculpture

description for this wall found in picture below...

Words Found on Memorial

Let the white bones fall into sleep

Let the grievance souls rest peacefully

Turn the slaughtering swords to the cast of a warning bell

Turn the names of the departed to be engraved in history

Let the children no longer face with the fear

Let the mother no longer shed their tears

Let war be distant from all mankind

Let peace be spread fully to the world

Gotcha Day Plus Two (& Our 9th Anniversary)

First, let me just say Happy Anniversary to the most amazing husband and father.  I can't imagine being half way around the world with anyone else.  I love you Dave!

Last night we ventured through town with Lilly and took in Nanjing.  My, did we get A LOT of attention.  Most people just take my picture without asking, but a few families wanted to get pictures with me and Lilly (they don't really care about Dave).  There are a lot of stares and questions, which we don't understand.  Most of the time women come up to me and say, "beautiful hair!"  I kind of feel like a celebrity. 

This morning we got to Skype with Liam and my family!!!  The sound wasn't working on our end, but we could hear them and they could see us.  It was so good to hear Liam's little voice!  We miss him terribly.  We really just want to go home and start life all together.  We know Liam is doing well though, because he sat still for maybe 2 minutes and then decided he would rather play with his cousin Verona than talk to us.  If Liam loves Lilly half as much as he love Verona, we'll be in good shape.

Today, we stayed in the hotel, which was nice.  We just spent time bonding with Lilly and taking a break from all the people and attention.

This is how we get around in the business outside.  Lilly loves her carrier.

Lilly slept through the night last night!  She went down at 7:30 and woke up at 6.  She moved around a lot though.

Lilly is a good little eater.  We were concerned that she didn't want to take a bottle.  However, she would rather eat regular food and whatever mom and dad eat - which is good.  She fills up on fruits, vegetables, and noodles, so she doesn't have room for formula.  She does drink water from her bottle throughout the day and occasionally we give her juice with her snack.

playing - I love this outfit, but her skirt kept falling down.  It's 18 months and too big.  We were surprised how little Lilly is,  her pictures made her seem so much bigger.

Mmmm - snack time

so beautiful

We had cookies for dessert.  Lilly was fascinated to watch Dave eat his cookie.

Here are some things we have learned about our Lilly in the past two days -

She doesn't like to wear socks.  She is ticklish on the bottom of her feet and her tummy.  She has learned how to eat almost everything, despite her cleft palate.  She loves to flip through books.  She loves being kissed on her cheeks.  She sings a little song in her sleep and while she is playing.  She wants to walk so badly, but has to hold Mommy's hand to do so.  She is unsteady and should hold two hands, but refuses to (Miss Independent).  Daddy is fun to play with if Mommy is near by, otherwise he is a little scary.  She likes to tease Dad by offering him her food and then taking it away suddenly.  She can say Mama. She wants to use a spoon and is trying to figure that out.  She likes to be rocked and sung to at bedtime.  (Her first night we let her put herself to sleep the way she was used to, but it broke my heart to see her rocking herself to sleep, so the next day at nap-time I rocked her and sang to her.  Now, that's all she wants when it's time to sleep.  After rocking for a couple minutes I can lay her down and she will put herself to sleep - as long as I am sitting next to the crib).  

  
Tomorrow, we will go to the War Memorial.  In 1937 Nanjing was attacked by the Japanese (Nanjing was the capital at that time).  They massacred 300,000 Chinese, including women and children.  It is a sad part of Chinese history.  The Memorial is the sight of the mass grave for those 300,000 people.  After that we will visit a park where Lilly can play and take in nature.  We will be back at the hotel by lunch and nap-time.

Gotcha Day Plus One

Last night Lilly did pretty well, considering it was her first night in a new place with strange people.  Although, we know she has seen our pictures (from her little photo album) and heard our voices (from our recordable storybook).  She went to sleep at 7:30pm.  Lilly loves to be rocked and have her face touched.  She was swaying (trying to rock herself) at about 7pm, so we knew it was time to go to sleep.  She woke up at 2:30am, looked around, and then fell back to sleep.  She woke up for good at 6am.  She had a couple tears this morning.  It must be scary to wake up and have everything be different.  She ate well at breakfast and seems to love watermelon and green beans.
This morning we went back to the same government office as before to finalize paperwork. We are now considered a family!  Lilly got to say goodbye to the two care-givers that brought her.  They gave her a sweet gift of a Jade necklace with a rabbit (the animal for her birth month) and some clay from her hometown of Kunshan.  It is obvious that they all really loved her and cared well for her, because she is transferring attachment so well.
Lilly has been a Momma's girl today.  She actually says Mama and reaches for me.  She plays well with Dave and will eat for him, but wants Mom the second she feels hurt or scared.  I have to be in eye sight at all times.  Her giggles and smiles have continued today.  We have already learned that she has a real cry and fake cry.  Her fake cry usually means Mom isn't giving her enough attention.  Today we also noticed that she likes to suck on her middle two fingers to fall asleep.  I think her Aunt Julie and cousin Ava did the same thing.

It's so fun to dress a little girl!

Lilly's Care-givers - saying goodbye

Official Paperwork

Our Official Family Photo

checking out the huge fish in the lobby