Love Story

On May 1st, 15 years ago, Dave showed up at my front door with a bouquet of Lilacs (my favorite flower), and took me on our first official date.  

Fast forward (maybe not so fast) 6 years, to May 29th.  Dave became my husband.  When we said for better, for worse, for richer, or poorer, until death do us part, we meant it.  We have lived through the worst, have experienced better, have been poor, look forward to being richer, and Dave will be my best friend until death temporarily parts us.

Dave has been my shoulder to cry on, the only one who understands my sense of humor, my encouragement, and my sanity.  He makes me want to be the best version of myself that I can be.  He dreams with me and helps me accomplish those dreams.  He is an amazing father.  Most importantly, he is a man of faith and character.  I thank God everyday that He chose Dave to be companion in life.  

Happy Anniversary Dave!!!

Baby Shower

I know it's not typical to have a baby shower for the second child, and also not common to have a baby shower for an adopted child.  However, my sweet faculty at Ascension threw one anyway.  It was so nice to celebrate the little lady we have been working tirelessly to bring home.  It has been so wonderful to share this journey with them.  The outpouring of care they have shown is so much appreciated.  Even though I am a part-time teacher there, and am technically employed by LSEM, I definitely feel like part of the Ascension family.  The food was delicious and cute.  Katie put detail into the drinks and games.  The games were fun and just right for a room full of teachers.  We played children's book word scramble and trivia.  Everyone also filled in wishes for Lilly - I hope you love ____, I hope you learn ______, I hope you laugh _______, and so on.  It was so much fun to get cute girly clothes too.  It was a great day!

Pack Your Bags!

Yesterday afternoon I received a phone call from Sarah, our social worker.  First of all, let me just say, Sarah is AMAZING!  When we picked our adoption agency we did so because our friends raved about the workers there and they commented on all the education the agency provides.  They do such a great job of preparing adoptive couples for every possible scenario.  We have loved working with our agency, specifically Sarah.  She is so thorough, organized, and prompt.  I really don't know how we would have gone through this process without her.  It is evident that she loves what she does, and she is so good at it.
Anyway, as I was saying, she called me yesterday afternoon.  We normally communicate through e-mail, so I knew it was important.  She congratulated us for receiving our TA (travel approval) and asked if we would be able to be in China is 2 weeks!!!  Of course, I said yes.  Today, she scheduled our appointment in Guangzhou at the Consulate for June 4th.  We need to be in Guangzhou by May 31st.  Tonight, we will talk to the man in charge of planning the specifics of our trip.  I think we will leave here on May 22nd and sight see in Beijing for a couple days before heading to Nanjing.  We need to be in Nanjing on May 26th to get Lilly.  There is one other couple traveling at the same time we are.  Their child is in a different province, so we will meet up with them in Guangzhou.  I have their e-mail and phone number, so I will be getting in contact with them ahead of time.  Unfortunately, the husband won't be able to travel, but the wife will have her mother-in-law with her. 
We are very excited.  There is a lot to get done in the next 12 days, but we know God will bless the last stretch of the process.  

Lilly Update

My heart is singing today!  We got an update about our Lilly.  We learned that she received our care package.  I also know what size she is, so now I can start shopping for clothes for our trip!  She is 19 pounds and 29 inches.  After looking at the clothing chart, her measurements are just under the 12-18month clothing range.  She probably fits in 12 month clothing right now, but will most likely be in 18 month clothing this summer.  She seems to be doing well.  One of her care-taker's names is listed on her update.  Now, we can pray specifically for her.  We thank God for her and that she is giving Lilly love.  If things continue to go well, we will be holding this precious China doll in about a month!!!!

Adoption Update

We are getting closer!!!  In fact, we are in the 'home stretch' of the adoption process.  We received notice about our Article 5, which like everything else with this adoption process so far, is right on schedule.  Here is the e-mail we received...

Dear Tiffany & David,

This is just a quick note to let you know that your Article 5 was sent to CCCWA on 4/18.  CCCWA will issue your Travel Approval in 2 to 4 weeks, and then we will schedule a consulate appointment for you.  Timing depends on what the consulate has available, but usually families travel 2-3 weeks after receiving their TA.

So, now we wait for our TA (Travel Approval).  Right after getting the TA, we will know specifics about our trip.  We will talk with the trip coordinator about where we will stay, what we will sight see, and when and where we will meet Lilly.  We will also have to get our visas from Chicago.  This part makes me a little nervous.  The visas take 5 business days to process (not including time to mail them).  We can't fill out the forms for our visas until we know information about our trip.  We may have only 2 weeks between our TA and when we leave.  So, hopefully, everything works smoothly in that area.  I don't like leaving things until the last minute, but in this case, we have to.  We are excited and nervous.  This weekend we put up Lilly's crib.  Seeing it empty makes my heart long to have it filled.  Liam is BABY CRAZY right now and wants a sibling so badly.  I know he will have an adjustment ahead of him, but he is so ready to be a big brother!

Below is our updated schedule.  According to our adoption website - we have been on the list for one year and two weeks.

Status	Date	My Adoption Event
	4/10/12	APPLICATION RECEIVED
	7/17/12	APPLICATION COMPLETED
	8/6/12	ADOPTION STUDY APPROVED
	8/24/2012	I-800A NOTICE REC’D BY NBC
	10/2/2012	I-800A APPROVAL
	12/28/2013	I-800A + F-PRINT EXPIRATION
	3/12/2013	I-800 PROVISIONAL APPROVAL REC’D
	1/28/2013	COUNTRY PRE-APPROVAL RECEIVED
	11/16/2012	DOSSIER I TO COUNTRY
	1/29/2013	CHILD REFERRAL RECEIVED
	2/1/2013	CHILD REFERRAL ACCEPTANCE COMPLETED
		ADOPTIVE PLACEMENT

Kunshan

Here is a little information about where Lilly is from in China.  We have been researching her town, so she knows a little about her heritage.  We also want to know what to expect when we get there.

Where Kunshan is located in China

Jiangsu Province

Lilly is from a town called Kunshan, which is located in the Jiangsu province.  It is about 358 sqaure miles in size and has 650,000 people.  It does not have its own airport, but is situated between Shainghai and Nanjing (two larger cities) and can be accessed by train or bus.  Kunshan is a travel destination for its beautiful scenery.  Yangcheng and Dianshan Lakes are known to be beautiful.  Yangcheng Lake is known for its supply of Yangcheng crab, which is an area specialty.  It is a fresh water lake and has salmon, whitefish, eels, turtles, and shrimp.  Another culinary specialty in the area are Ao Zao noodles.  Tingling Park, which is 140 acres, is also a popular destination.  It is situated below the Kunshan Mountain.  The park is filled with Kun Stones, which have a jade-like texture, but are in various forms.  The Eight Immortals flower is very rare and unique to China and can be found throughout the park. They are special because they are formed by eight smaller flowers surrounding a center.  The flower is as big as a saucer and white as snow. Every April and May, the flowers are in full bloom, which apparently, is a sight to behold.  The Lotus flower is also a must see in Tingling Park.  Located inside the park is a museum for the Kun Opera, which originated in Kunshan and is known as the 'Father of Opera' in China.  There is also a monument to Gu Yanwu, a Chinese philosopher from Kunshan.  Lilly's Chinese last name is Gu in honor of this philosopher.  (All the girls in the orphanage have been given this last name).  Gu Yanwu's former home and tomb are also located in the park.

In recent years, more and more businessmen from Taiwan have invested in Kunshan and many hotels, restaurants, and attractions have been built as a result.  Kunshan is subject to subtropical monsoon climate, enjoying abundant sunlight and plentiful rainfall all year round.  The average temperature is 59 degrees year round.

Kunshan Center

Eight Immortals Flower

Yangcheng Crab

Kunshan Mountain & Kun Stones

Lotus Flower

Kun Opera

Gu Yanwu (Chinese Philosopher)

"every man is responsible for his country's rise and fall"

Cleft Palate 101

Today, Dave and I met with Lilly's plastic surgeon and nurse.  It was a very educational visit for us and answered MANY of our questions.  It also eased our fears to meet the man who will be performing Lilly's surgeries.  This is new territory for us, but we feel like we will have a good team working with us.  For that, we are so very thankful.  So, here is what we learned.

What does Lilly's cleft palate look like?
Lilly has a cleft palate III degrees.  This means that both Lilly's soft and hard palate are opened.  However, she doesn't have a cleft lip and her gums are in tact.  Even though we do not have an actual picture of the inside of Lilly's mouth, the nurse was able to show us diagrams and pictures of other patients based on the description we have been given.  Lilly's mouth looks most like diagram on the top right.

What does this mean for Lilly's eating?
The fact that Lilly is 19 months old, and hasn't had surgery yet, is a good sign that she is eating adequately.  According to her paperwork she is mostly bottle fed.   The nurse gave us a special bottle for cleft babies.  Lilly has been using special bottles in the orphanage.  The bottle we were given will help control the amount of air she swallows with each gulp (cleft babies tend to swallow extra air while drinking) and the nipple will be situated in the right position under her palate opening to help with swallowing.  We are hoping that we can transition to a sippy cup.  The nurse said we can expect her to be able to eat soft foods.  Other than biscuits, we are not sure what solid food she has been given.  We will introduce her to solid foods as soon as we can, but will continue bottle feeding during her transition time.  We know to expect food to come out of Lilly's nose.

How many surgeries will she have and when?
Lilly's first surgery will most likely be in August.  Dr. Mlakar would like Lilly to be home for three months before her surgery, so she can get settled in first.  She will have a follow up surgery three months after that.  The first surgery will take extra skin from the inside of her cheek to help close the opening in her palate.  The second surgery will separate the skin from from the cheek and palate and will also check both palate and cheek to make sure they are healing properly.  This method has been proven to help significantly with speech issues.  These surgeries should keep her from having extra nasal speech.  Her surgeries will take place in the morning and she will be admitted to the hospital overnight.  She will be able to come home the following evening, once she is drinking well on her own.

Besides surgery, what's in store for Lilly?
In September, Lilly will be part of the cleft clinic.  The cleft clinic is a way for all Lilly's physicians to meet together, look at Lilly, and make a collective plan for her care.  She will be seen by her plastic surgeon, a speech therapist, a pediatric dentist, an orthodontist, an ENT doctor (cleft babies tend to have ear infections), and a social worker (who helps navigate insurance).  They will let us know what we can expect for Lilly's care both short and long term.  We may meet the speech therapist before the September clinic, since he/she will help us with feedings if necessary before Lilly's first surgery.

Lilly's medical care is only one aspect of her adoption.  It is good to know what is ahead for us medically, but we also need to focus on her emotional health. We are also preparing for her attachment.  I am reading a great book right now called The Connected Child.  It is full of great information.  I will have a book review in a later post.  We also hope to have an adoption process update soon, as we anticipate our Article 5 tomorrow!