Lilly's Life in the Orphanage

We were not able to visit Lilly's orphanage when we were in China.  Kunshan, the town the orphanage was in, was three hours away from Nanjing.  We didn't think our first day with Lilly should be spent sitting for six hours in the van.  We were able to meet two of her care-givers and ask them questions.  We actually spent two days with them, so we were able to ask them more questions the second day after having Lilly for one night.  We have had a glimpse into what life was like for Lilly through pictures.  We sent a disposable camera in her care package and just got it developed.  We think Lilly was well liked!  She seems to have had many friends of various ages at the orphanage.  Here are some of the pictures they took of Lilly for us -

Lilly is looking at our pictures in her crib.

Kunshan is a wealthy city.  We are pretty impressed with the amount of play equipment available to the kids.

There were several pictures of Lilly with these three older kids.

There were also a great deal of pictures of Lilly is this walker.  This helps explain why her muscles are so weak.

Life As We Know It

Dave and I went 30 hours without sleep.  We weren't able to sleep on the plane because Lilly is a mover and she kept trying to roll off the seat.  So, we were exhausted when we got to Michigan.  Lilly is not on Indiana time AT ALL.  She seems like a different child when it's time to sleep.  In China she went down fine and slept through the night.  Here, she screams and yells at the top of her lungs.  She only wants to sleep if I am holding her in a chair.  She wakes up several times throughout the night.  It is exhausting.  We have tried everything to get her to sleep.  Dave and I haven't been feeling well.  We don't know if it's lack of sleep, airplane food, a bug, or all of that combined.  We really hope Lilly adjusts soon.  It's so hard to be patient when you're tired.  Thankfully, I have Dave.  I don't know what I would do without him.  He let me take a nap today, which was good for my body and spirit.  I love Lilly so much, but she is wearing me down this weekend.  This too shall pass, so I will just love her through this.  The truth is that adjustment is hard work and takes time.  We knew that going into it, but it's still human nature to get tired and discouraged.
On a happy note, Lilly was terrified of Daisy at first, but is warming up to her.  She is also playing well with Dave and Liam.  If I am in the room she wants me to hold her non-stop and whines if I am not giving her all my attention.  So, several times today I left so she couldn't see me and let her play with Dave and Liam without me there.  She was perfectly content.  I'm glad she is attached to me, but carrying her around all the time is not realistic.  I am trying to find the balance of when to give her attention and when to let her cry a little.
Liam has been a great big brother!  He has helped in so many ways.  He helps with whatever we ask him to do.  He is so patient and gentle with Lilly.  He is so happy to have mom and dad home.  Tonight, we asked him to take a bath with Lilly, so she wouldn't be scared.  He has shown her all the toys and how to use them.  It is clear that he was meant to be a big brother.  The only complaint he has is when she cries.  He says she is too loud. 

In Michigan I slept with both kids and let Dave sleep in another guest room.  Lilly didn't like the pack-n-play, and I was so tired, it was just easier to have both kids with me.

Liam shared his alphabet puzzle with Lilly.  This picture shows how they compare in size.

We're all tired, but happy to be together.

Liam showed Lilly how to play the piano.

Liam showed Lilly her room and all her toys (most of which used to be his).

Lilly took a bath without crying for the first time.  Thank you Liam!

Last Post From China

Psalm 68:6

God sets the lonely in families...

Isaiah 43:1

But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, he who formed you: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Psalm 46:10
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” 

Exodus 9:16

But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.


We serve a great God!  He has blessed our journey to get Lilly.  He blessed us through the paperwork phase, through the referral, and through the trip to China.  There is no doubt in our minds that God orchestrated this whole process.  Only He is capable of putting all the pieces together in perfect timing.  He instilled the desire in our hearts to be adoptive parents, and equipped us with the skills needed to be Lilly's parents.  He watched over our Lilly from the time she was conceived, to the moment she was found on the bridge, and through her stay at the orphanage.  He put the right people in the orphanage to care for her until we could.  He blessed us with an amazing support system, that not only gave financially, but have been prayer warriors.  He blessed us with a family that will love Lilly unconditionally, will see her for the unique child of God that she is, and will cultivate her faith in Jesus.  


Adoption is such a great example of Christ's love for us.  We are adopted sons and daughters of God.  He has called us by name, and we are His.  He has created us to be in relationships with each other, so we won't be lonely.  We may feel unloved and be disappointed by those we love, but God's love is constant.  He created us for a purpose.  My prayer is that we all remember this, and that we live our lives with purpose, because every life is precious.


As I sit in this hotel room, listening to the steady breaths of a sleeping baby, I am in awe.  I wonder what life was like before knowing Lilly.  It seems like she has always been a part of our family.  I miss my Liam and his stories and songs, his big hugs, kissing his sweaty neck, and running my fingers through his hair.  I am so anxious to hold him.  I am thankful for my wonderful husband, who has the largest heart of anyone I know, who is my calm, and loves us.  I honestly don't know if I could have done any of this without him.  Seeing him love our children the way he does makes me fall even more in love with him.


We have made some great memories here in China.  Maybe, at some point I'll share some of the fun stories from the trip.  For now, I should get some sleep, since we will be waking up very early to head home.  Please pray for safe travels home and that Lilly will handle all the traveling well.
Goodnight from China!

Consulate Day

Our reason for traveling to Guangzhou was to get Lilly's travel visa, get a medical check, and submit Lilly's immigration paperwork.  Today was our last appointment here in Guangzhou.  We went to the US Consulate.  There were about 12 other adoptive families at our appointment.  After waiting for a while, we were given instructions, then we all stood up and took an oath.  After taking an oath we went up to the window for our 'interview.'  We handed them all Lilly's immigration paperwork, Dave signed a form, and then we were done.  We weren't asked any questions.  So, this means that when we land in Chicago on Thursday, Lilly will be a US citizen.  Tomorrow, our facilitator will pick up Lilly's visa and deliver it to us.  Tomorrow is our last full day in China.  Thursday we will get up very early. We have to be in the van, ready to go, by 6am.  We will drive 3 hours to Hong Kong and then our flight is at 11:40am.  We will fly about 15 hours to Chicago, visit immigration, eat dinner, and then get on one more flight to Detroit.  We are scheduled to land in Detroit around 6:30pm Thursday night.  We are anxious to get home.  All the families we talked to today have the same feeling.  Guangzhou has been a great adoption community, and we have met some great people, but it's not home.  So many of us are ready to start real life.

Our little American Girl!

Mommy & Lilly

Lilly loves her patriotic outfit.  Hopefully, by Independence Day we'll be able to put a bow in her hair.

US Consulate

Guangzhou

Yesterday was busy here in Guangzhou, so we stayed around the hotel.  Today, a group of us ventured into Guangzhou to sightsee and shop.  We walked through the medical market and the pet market to get to the mall.  We saw some interesting things.

snakes

sea horses

small scorpions for soup

large scorpions for soup

this stand had a better aroma (due to the rose buds)

We thought of our nephew, Gabe, at this stand.  There were several varieties of turtles.

Beijing Road - popular shopping street

The Pearl Market.  The pearls that they sell here are actually found in a river from Lilly's province.

Dave went back to Beijing Road this evening to see it all lit up.  It's like a smaller version of Times Square.

Small Moments, Big Accomplishments

Since getting Lilly last Monday, she has been a Mama's girl.  She bonded with me first.  I've actually been asked by Chinese women how long I've had Lilly.  When I tell them one week, they are amazed at how well she is doing.  I don't know how else to explain it, other than that God is mending her little heart.  She has not had the same attachment to Dave.  In fact, she has been so attached to me that I often can't even go to the bathroom or take a shower without her crying.  It has been a bit exhausting.  It's hard to know when to give her attention and reassure her that I will meet all her needs, and when she is just manipulating me.  I have been sitting closer to Dave and giving him hugs and kisses in front of Lilly in an effort to show her that he is a safe person.  Dave has been good about getting down on her level and playing with her.  He just keeps loving her through it all.  Well, today I think we turned a corner.  She actually let Dave hold her for more than two seconds and didn't scream.  She also let Dave hold her hands and walk her down the hallway.  This has been impossible up until today.  The most exciting part is that she kissed Dave on the lips several times today!!!  Every time she did it we praised her for it, which made her giggle.  Dave and I have always been 'teamwork parents.'  We both take an active role with Liam and I am excited to think that we will be able to do the same with Lilly soon.  Attachment takes time and lots of patience.  It is also a challenge sometimes to know when to discipline and when to let things slide.  Overall, I am so proud of how Lilly is doing.  I was expecting the worst, hoping for the best, and praying for a miracle.  I think God answered my prayer in a little, but important way today.  I'm thankful for so many small moments today!

Dave holding Lilly - Lilly is not crying!

Daddy and Lilly walking back to the room

Skyping with the family - so good to hear Liam's little voice.

Our hotel has a play room, which has been so great for Lilly.  She is getting sick of the toys that we packed.

Lilly loves to play with balls.  Maybe she'll be a basketball player.

(Notice she is wearing a hair clip.  Her hair is just long enough to clip one on, but it didn't stay on very long).

so beautiful!

Big brother Liam is going to have to chase off the boys.

It cracks us up that Lilly knows how to work the remote.  Apparently, she watched TV every night before bed at the orphanage.

Lilly loves to draw.  We're anxious to let her use crayons and make masterpieces at home.

Five Years

Today is a bittersweet day for us.  Five years ago today our sons Christopher and Connor entered the world early and started their lives in Heaven.  Everyday we think of them and on days like today we miss the opportunity to be their parents.  However, we also rejoice that they are with Jesus and have never had to suffer in this earthly life.  In some ways it's hard to believe it has been five years.  The memory is still so fresh in our minds.  It also seems like that was a lifetime ago.  Our lives have changed so much since then.  God has granted us grace in the midst of our sorrow.  Today, we look at the beautiful daughter he has given us and think of our wonderful son, and are so thankful he turned our sadness into joy.  We are humbled that God has chosen us to be adoptive parents and has prepared our hearts to be the type of parents Liam and Lilly need.  Usually, I visit the cemetery on their birthday and sing happy birthday.  We will sing to them from China this year.

"You turned my wailing into dancing..that my heart may sing and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever." Psalm 30:12

 

Today we visited the medical clinic.  It was so amazing to see so many adoptive families.  God makes families in all different ways.  It was so touching to see all these amazing parents, who have sacrificed, and waited, who are now holding their children.  So many had medical concerns, but you could just tell that to these parents, their children are perfect and beautiful.  God bless these adoptive families.  I got choked up while we waited for Lilly's appointment.  It's an emotional day anyway, but as I looked around, I thought, "This room is full of children who will never be abandoned again. Praise God!"  As I was trying to keep my composure, Dave said, "If we had the money, I would do this again in a heart beat!  It's really hard to stop at one."  That's why I love him!!!  I said, "If God calls us, he will equip us, but let's just get through this trip first."

Lilly hated being taken out of my arms.

The nurse told us what we already knew.  She is developmentally behind where she should be, but she is healthy considering the obstacles she has had to overcome.  My daughter is a fighter and she will work as hard as she can to make up those milestones.  She already has gained so much strength just this week.  Whether or not she is a star athlete or dancer, or top in her class, she will move mountains, because God has saved her life for a purpose!

On a lighter note... this is pretty cool.  It's a wine vending machine.